Batstyle
by NaruYasha352
Summary: The day Catwoman realized tails on costumes are flashy but not very practical. Or something like that. Selina/Nightwing, one-shot, unofficial rewrite


**Disclaimer - **I do not own Batman or its characters. I'm just rescuing them from psychotically bad (supposedly erotic) writing for a while.

**Secondary Disclaimer - **This story idea (if you can even call it an idea, or a story) was not mine and I do not claim it to be. Nor would I ever want to.

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**Funny comment from a friend: **_Trying to read through this insanity made me hurt inside while laughing to the point of actual tears. I can't tell if this is a troll fiction or a stream of consciousness rape fantasy by a honest to goodness genuinely depraved human being._

**A/N: **I have to admit, I wasn't sure what to make of the original fic either. It reads like the journal entry of a severely disturbed mental patient with a split personality after the first paragraph. Topless Robot's FFF lead me to the author. Out of sick curiosity, I took a look at the person's other works and found this masterpiece. Suddenly I felt compelled to rewrite it into a coherent, properly grammaticized form, if only to ease my mental anguish. I've read bad Catwoman erotic in my day but this was simply too much.

Gratuitous sexual content isn't allowed on the site so don't expect any, a lot is cut down from the original here. That's probably a good thing. Not a fan of the original's subject matter (with the exception of parody material), I also lessoned the non-consent quite a bit. And made this (possibly) much funnier in a good way.

Yes, I was bored. Yes, "Batstyle" has become an in-joke between us. -_-;

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**-Batstyle-**

Selina Kyle, also known as the feisty feline master thief the Catwoman, prepared herself for her next crime. She intended to steal a ravishing pair of cat's eyes, worth a cool million or five, that had been newly added to Gotham Museum's Hall of Rare Gems. As she flexed her slender fingertips inside the leather gloves of her catsuit, she almost wished Batman hadn't gone out of the city on other business. Teasing him into chasing her all around the city was something she had grown almost as fond of as stealing.

The most she could expect to have a run-in with tonight would be Batman's cute little sidekicks. They were pushovers, no real threat to her current lack of incarceration, unlike Batman. There was the equally handsome Nightwing, Batman's former boy wonder, but he most often remained in his domain of Blüdhaven.

Catwoman jumped onto the window sil and stretched, overlooking the sprawling city from her lush apartment. It reminded her of thousands of sparkling stones and gems, all beckoning for her to snatch them up as she pleased. How could she resist such a call? She exited the window and was soon on her way to the museum via the rooftops and shadows.

Breaking in took no time at all. Before she could say 'catnip', the gems were in her palm and soon in her carry pouch. She could already imagine them sitting in her vast collection of stolen jewels.

"Purrrrfect," she commented, looking at the shining gems one last time before tying up the pouch. "Now to see what other treats were left lying around for this wandering kitty."

"Put them back."

Catwoman gasped softly, turning toward the voice. "Nightwing!"

Apparently he'd taken time off from Blüdhaven to play around in Gotham. Her surprise quickly turned back to contentment. Nightwing was no Batman, after all. She would play with him for a while and then leave him with a cold trail.

"Make me," said Catwoman, stretching playfully.

Nightwing took a step closer. "You don't want me to."

"You've grown," she commented, letting her eyes rove over his perfectly sculpted form. They settled on the bulge of his crotch. She smirked. "In more ways than one. How about we play for a while? I could teach you some very useful tricks."

"How about I teach you some instead?" Nightwing threw off the curvy criminal's suddenly groping hands, knowing claws were hidden inside those slender fingertips. "And here's some free advice, too. Don't touch me unless you want to throw a punch."

"I never thought you'd turn out to be less fun than Batman, birdy," Catwoman snickered. In a flash, she pulled out her whip and cracked it at him several times. "But maybe I could at least teach you to dance!"

The whip cracked again and again, tearing shreds in Nightwing's costume while he defended himself. He jumped back and checked himself. Blood flowed from his shoulder. It throbbed lightly.

"When I catch you, kitty, you're in for a spanking!" he shouted, running after her.

"Having fun?" Catwoman laughed, continuing to lead Nightwing in a long game of cat and bird through the museum.

After a while it became boring. She decided it was time to leave and made a beeline for the open skylight window, leaping easily onto and climbing an ancient totem display beneath the skylight.

"It's been fun. We ought to do this again sometime. Bye!" She waved.

"I don't think so!"

Nightwing came swooping up to meet her, determined not to let his enemy get away. Clenching his teeth, he reached out and snagged the cat themed criminal's purple tail and yanked as hard as he could. With a scream of surprise, Catwoman was pulled from the window and fell back down, landing on a large dinosaur fossil standing next to the totem, and bouncing all the way down its large backbone until she hit the floor.

"Owch!" Catwoman whined, rubbing her perfectly proportioned bottom. "That hurt!"

"Looks like you've got more than enough cushioning to me," Nightwing taunted, landing next to her. "Lucky you, because now it's time for that spanking I told you about."

"You're not man enough to try such a thing," Catwoman responded in a hiss.

"Want a bet, kitty-cat?" Nightwing grabbed her purple tail and dragged her towards him while she clawed at the floor with her fingertips.

"Hey, stop that! You'll rip my tail off," she complained.

"That's kind of," Nightwing began, yanking the tail until it tore free from the suit, "the point!"

"Mrrreow!" Catwoman whined angrily, staring at the large tear in her costume. Her black thong was exposed, as well as good portion of her naked butt. "Bastard! This is an expensive outfit you, you know!"

Ignoring her, Nightwing grabbed Catwoman and threw her across the corner edge of the fossil display's raised platform. To add further insult to injury, he tied her wrists with her own severed tail. "Good to hear. You won't be breaking out of it easy, will you?" he quipped as she struggled. He tied her feet with some strong black cable he had in his arsenal of tools.

"You'll pay for this!" Catwoman yowled. She almost hoped it would rouse the night security, but also didn't.

"Nice thong," Nightwing chuckled down at her. He reared back his hand and gave her left cheek a firm slap. Catwoman yowled louder, one slap turning into two, and two into several, until the flawless skin became reddened.

"Stop!" she demanded angrily, her cheeks flushed with a mix of rage and embarrassment.

"Make me," Nightwing replied, smirking. Catwoman hissed and struggled more violently, still unable to free herself. His smirk growing wider, Nightwing grabbed her whip. Now she would have a taste.

"OW!"

Catwoman gasped and grunted as the whip cracked on her behind over and over.

"Forty lashes, I think? Or maybe more," chuckled Nightwing. He wasn't hitting her that hard but could imagine how bad even a light lash stung on bare flesh.

"No!"

"Yes!"

The whip cracked again.

"REEEOW!"

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say you liked to be spanked, Catwoman," Nightwing said, taking note of the feisty feline's look of sudden arousal.

"Like hell I do," she panted. But she couldn't hide it for long, not with her outfit ripped and flesh exposed. She knew she shouldn't have worn a thong tonight.

She gasped when the black fabric pulled away to make room for a probing finger.

"What are you doing?" she demanded.

Nightwing was silent, his fingers doing all the talking at the moment. Catwoman struggled with herself. She wasn't going to let him win this fight so easily, if this was the game he was going to play.

"If you're looking for the jewels I stole, you're not going to find them in there," she muttered, desperately attempting to sever her brain's connection to her tingling body. She breathed in slowly through her nose and held her breath, trying to clear her mind of a million and one increasingly angry, dirty thoughts.

Nightwing still said nothing, but his finger slipped away and moved to a different spot, sliding in easily now that they were coated. Catwoman gasped again, her body tensing and relaxing. When she got free, she was going to break those fingers so he could never use them against her like this again. She made a mental note never to underestimate Nightwing again either, putting him above even Batman on her foe's list.

"Bastard!" Catwoman moaned. "You fucking bastard."

"I think you need another spanking. Maybe then you'll learn your lesson. Stealing is bad." Nightwing hit her again with the whip, making her yowl and strain some more. 'Well, kitty? Stealing bad. Have we learned our lesson yet?"

"Never!" Catwoman asserted breathily.

"Fine then. Maybe you will after this."

Nightwing rustled his clothing and Catwoman's interest instantly piqued. She turned her head over her shoulder to see him pulling himself from his black costume. Gasping, she was overcome by an intense mixture of anger and lust.  
_  
This isn't happening_, she thought, staring at her enemy's bared flesh. _But it is!_

"If I let you play with this toy, will you be a good kitty?" Nightwing whispered, coming over to her and placing himself in front of her face.

Pouting, Catwoman pondered it over. Did she want to give in to her enemy, or would she stick to being a bad kitty and bite?

_Depends on the taste_, she decided.

"If you play nice with me from now on, I'll might see fit to be nice back," she told him. "No more spankings for this kitty, alright?"

"On one condition," said Nightwing. "First, no biting. Otherwise you'll wish you hadn't brought that whip with you. Second, you've got to put the jewels back, and leave them there."

Catwoman winced. Give up her purloined prizes?

"This better be amazing," she muttered.

"Is that a yes or a no?" inquired Nightwing, patience waning.

"It's a maybe."

"I don't do maybes." He raised the whip in his other hand.

"Alright! It's a yes," Catwoman said quickly.

A few moments later, she was leaving him breathless but wishing he had saw fit to untie her. Trust wasn't ever something she could come by easily when dealing with the Bat and his buddies.

Nightwing removed himself before climaxing, panting while he rested a hand on her head. "Good kitty."

"Bad birdy," she whispered in a sultry tone, licking her lips. "What if Batman saw you right now?"

"What if he saw you," Nightwind retaliated.

"This might have become a very interesting evening," Catwoman responded.

Going back to silence, Nightwing moved behind her and entered swiftly, making her gasp. They moved together, slow at first, then faster, Nightwing's pace gradually steadying while Catwoman's went increasingly erratic and needy.

Damn how long had it been since she-

"Aaah!" she moaned, tensing with her orgasm.

Nightwing pulled out with a groan.

Panting heavily, Catwoman looked over her shoulder again and snickered. "You going to clean that up?"

Wiping the sweat from his forehead, Nightwing favored silence once again and began to remove the tail from Catwoman's wrists. She moved them in front of her and rubbed the circulation back into them, then watched in shock as Nightwing bent down and wiped the floor with the severed tail before throwing it at her side.

"You bastard!" she said, becoming extremely irritated.

"The cat's eyes," Nightwing said flatly, holding out his palm. "Now."

She snatched the pouch from her waist and threw it at his head. Nightwing caught it in midair.

"Thanks. It's nice to see you can teach a cat some new tricks."

Grumbling, Catwoman reached down and sliced the cable with her metal claws. She thought about taking a quick swipe at her enemy, but let the thought pass. She had gotten into enough trouble this evening. Encountering the GCPD in her current state of dress wasn't something she was particularly exited about.

With a hiss, she ran off and disappeared into the shadows, to plot another crime that wouldn't be so easily foiled by her more primal impulses.


End file.
